winging it

I attended a workshop yesterday with the amazing Karen B K Chan and she was throwing down wisdom after wisdom the whole time.

In response to a question about when is the right age for parents to no longer be naked in front of their children, she explained that there is really no age and it totally comes down to the comfort of the family. Some parents will never be naked in front of their children and in other families the nudity will never end.

She then went on to say something that was exactly what I needed to hear.

She explained that as parents we are really just winging it most of the time - “you can’t have any dessert until you have….6 bites of broccoli! Yes, that’s right, 6 whole bites!!”.

We’re going to be our own quirky selves with our kids and that’s okay. It’s actually beautiful.

There are going to be times when we’re going to be unreasonable. There will be things that are not okay by you but are allowed by your children’s friend’s parents - “I’m sorry sweetie, I’m just not comfortable with you tobogganing down that hill. I know other parents might be okay with it but I’ve just heard too many scary stories about accidents and don’t feel good about it. I know it’s annoying but that’s just my thing. I can’t let you go.” And other things that you’re going to be okay with that your children’s friend’s parents might not be. You might love walking around naked and your child might be like, “oh my god, Dad, please put on some clothes!” to which you can reply, “ I know. I’m quirky old me. Walking around our house with no clothes on and you’re stuck with me! You and your quirky naked Dad!”

Thank you Karen. This is gold.

Deep sigh of relief over here to be quirky old me with my kids. Let myself off the hook to be the “perfect parent”. And, in doing so, know that I am helping my boys begin to embrace their own imperfect, quirky selves!